It's hard being the second born to a perfect older sister. You feel like your never going to be as good and that people are always going to notice and like them better. That is true sometimes, but it's just the way of the world and I've come to tenuous terms with it!=) With the perfect older sister getting married though........ boy-oh-boy! Has that brought out some old resentment skeletons I thought I had buried in the back of the proverbial closet a long time ago!! And if that wasn't hard enough with all of the history that's already there, I also just got some 2x4 to the back of the head type of news. So, needless to say I was having a hard time before, but the past week and a half or so.............watch out!!!
I got the 2x4 to the head bad news Monday after getting home from a 4 day long camping trip. Then on Wednesday I headed out again for another 4 days of camping. This time with out the perfect older sister, so it was kind of a break but can you ever really escape from your problems? I was tiered and a trifle; okay maybe more like hugely, overwhelmed when I got home that Saturday, then my Mom was mad at me because I hadn't called her when I was gone and I had been slacking off on the cleaning a bit( What can I say? It's summer! There's nothing I hate more in the summer then dusting!!) so I get home and it's not the I'm so glad your home lets all be happy type of welcome I needed. I couldn't sleep that night my stomach was in so many knots.
It was church the next morning and I did not want to go, but I went any way because that's what good Christian girls do. But God knew that I needed to be there this Sunday. The Pastors sermon was just what I needed to hear. It was on John 14 and you should really listen to it but I'll share my favorite part now. This is a path to peace with God that Jesus lays out for us in John 14.
To Believe is to Know
To Know is to Love
To Love is to Obey
To Obey is to Abide
To Abide is to Experience Everlasting Joy and Peace
Isn't that beautiful? I don't know what exactly about it spoke right to my heart that day, but whatever it is I am so very grateful that God spoke through the Pastor and made me drag myself out of bed and go to church that day. It's still been hard but God gave me what I needed to grow past this and become closer to Him.
Also this week, I pulled out a CD that I have never listened to. It's the second CD in a set of Celtic hymns that I lost the first one with all of my favorites on it so out of frustration I never listened to the second one. But something made me pull it out this week, and song number 5 is Trust and Obey. This line inparticular really struck me.
Trust and obey,
For there is no other way,
To be happy in Jesus,
To be happy in Jesus,
But to trust and obey!
Awesome right? It's hard, really hard! But if I trust in Jesus and obey Him, what a wonderful peace and joy I will experience! Now, Gods given me the tools to climb out of the pit I'm in. The question is, will I use them? Please pray for me to use these things God has given me to climb out of the pit!
Here is a link to the sermon, it's only about half an hour long and definitely worth listening to!=)