Thursday, August 6, 2009

Air Castles

Does any one else build air castles? I do, I have built them about pretty much everything in my life. Some are big and grand, others are really more like cottages nothing much to them but very homey and comforting. Whenever I feel like it I can just pop on over to one of my air castles and take a tour. Some I have been working on for years! When they fall, especially the old grand ones it breaks my heart! But what if they aren't just breaking down over time? What if some one you love is slowly picking it apart piece by peace and taking the best parts and leaving the rest in a jumbled heap? But I'm getting ahead of myself, let me explain!

What on earth am I referring to? Do I really have a bunch of castles and cottages floating around above me in the sky? The explanation is this. In Little Women they call their dreams air castles. I feel in love with the term and have been building them ever since. My dreams and anticipations get "built" up in my mind. I do it about almost everything, I even have some haunted ones filled with the things I'm not looking forward to. The driving instructor inhabits a rather large and drafty one!

As with all personality traits there are good and bad things about them. I anticipate things, come up with endless scenarios about everything in my life. It makes it hard to surprise me, because if I find out one little clue I will think and dream about it until I've figured it out. It sucks sometimes, but then sometimes then anticipation is the best part. Christmas day is overrated but it's the feeling of anticipation and joy that is Christmas spirit that makes the holidays one of my favorite times of year.

Now that you know some about my over active and rather odd imagination, back to the point of this post. Over the years of course the content of these castles has changed some of them have even faded away completely without me really noticing. But I have a treasured few that I've held on to for years. I've built them, seeking the perfect pieces, searching until I find something that is just right. Like looking for the right words in a story or the perfect angle and lighting for a picture.

I have to share when I find a something that is a perfect fit, in fact my family tiers of my enthusiasm. But I can't help it! But this inability in to keep these things to myself has caused some problems. The picking apart and poking fun can hurt. Right now though, one of the oldest and most grand castles is slowly being picked apart and gone through. The pieces I worked so hard to find and so happily shared are being taken and put into somebody elses castle. Some of my most treasured ideas are now being built into and used by somebody else for their castle!

If I find an idea first and talked about it for me I guess I want to use it first! I like reading the books I buy first and being the one to open my Cd's and things like that. I'm just funny that way I guess. Some of the joy is lost and I'm no longer as excited about them if I haven't used them first. So, now all those years of gathering ideas feels wasted and now I have to start over , my castle is slowly falling over and I'm sitting in the middle of the wreckage mad and sulking.

Am I wrong to feel this way? Should I not feel some disspointment? As I was pouting last night a song come unbidden into my head. On Christ the solid rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand. All other ground is sinking sand. Okay, okay what are you trying to tell me God? What verse is that song from? I did some searching and found what I was looking for.
Matthew 7:24-27 24"Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. 25The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. 26But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. 27The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash."

Okay, okay. I get it! I shouldn't pin my hopes and dreams on castles in the air. They are built on the sand and anything at anytime cold sweep them away. I should build my hopes on Jesus and the things I know He wants for my life, not base how I'm doing by how many of my castles are becoming reality. I fell asleep peaceful and knowing that it was okay to feel disappointed, but that ultimately it doesn't matter what happens to my air castles as long as I have built my real life upon Jesus. Nothing in-on-above-or below this world could ever move my house from the rock! I'll still have my castles and cottages. I have to much fun building them to ever completely get rid of them. But this reality check has dragged me out of my imagination and back out in the real world. I really needed it, sometimes God just has to smack me upside the head. And I thank Him for it everytime!=)