Thursday, July 15, 2010

My Shoulder Minions

How many times have you seen the set up where someone is tyring to make a choice and all of the sudden an angel will pop up on one shoulder and a little devil will show up on the other. Then most likely a fight will ensue between said shoulders minions, it will start out verbal but quickly escalate into a slapping, hair pulling, knock down drag out on the ground brawl. Then the person who these minions belong to will throw their hands up in disgust and walk away, no decision having been reached.

You've all seen that set up? Good, so we have established our base line here. My shoulder minions aren't exactly an angel and devil but rather two very different sides of my personality, one is a dewy eyed romantic who tears up at hallmark commercials and the other is a mouthy sarcastic who regularly slaps the other one.....don't worry about the dewy eyed romantic, she really does need it sometimes and she knows it.=)

I'm always arguing with these two and it's about even who wins, me, myself, or I. But, just recently there was what we all decided to call "The Incident" and that  is the only part we agree on. It all started on a quiet drive to church one Sunday morning a few weeks ago. When all of the sudden we see them, two squirrels in the middle of the road. My Mom swerves to miss them and as we are passing them, I look out my window, and this is what I see. One is lying on the ground obviously dead(or dying) and the other one is holding on to it's little shoulder, shaking as if to rouse him.

Now, I had three very different thoughts about this sight. The rational part of me thought, hmm I'm glad we didn't hit them.

The dewy eyed romantic is already tearing up and concocting a story she knows must be true, about the poor lady squirrel trying to revive her husband and now she will have to raise all their little babies alone.

The mouthy sarcastic, on the other hand is rolling her eyes and taking delight in making the dewy eyed romantic squirm by insisting that the live one was most likely trying to rip of a piece of the dead one to eat.

Now, you would think that this was the end of the story, right? Nope! For some reason the shoulder minions will not leave this one alone, the dewy eyed romantic is warring with herself because she knows that her version of the story is the true one, but the knowledge that squirrels do in fact eat meat had been revealed to her (this took some getting used to for the both of us, we couldn't imagine those cute little fluff balls eating meat. The mouthy sarcastic had to slap us both about that one!)

There lies the struggle, the dewy eyed romantic keeps fantasizing about the poor squirrel family and the mouthy sarcastic is delighting in taunting her with the knowledge of meat eating squirrels. They won't stop, and they are driving me crazy! I 'm stuck in the middle, a helpless mediator in my own mind. Let me ask you, what's a girl to do??