Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Young at Heart

I don't wanna grow up was the Toys R' Us theme song when I was a kid. I loved that commercial and would sing along every time it came on. I still love that store, even today it fills me with child like awe and the need to push all the TRY ME! buttons in sight! I love Disney movies and cartoons like Sponge Bob. I find that I like childrens books better then most grown up ones. Couple these things with the fact that I am very easily amused and as mentioned in a pervious post rather gullible, I find it hard sometimes to fit in.

For the first time since I've become a "young adult" I am regularly hanging out with a group of my peers. The last time I'd done that was when I was 15, it's totally not the same! I'm still talking about little siblings, chores and Blues Clues. When did my peers grow up with out me!?

I just sit and listen with my mouth agape when they all talk about collage, driving across country, trips not with their family's but with friends and pepper their conversation with "bad" words. I makes me want to hold out the cuss jar and collect quarters. It's even worse when it's just the girls, the talk ALWAYS turns to boys and past relationships. Ummmm, I had a plan to marry Mark Summers and run our Family Double Dare empire together. That's as far into a relationship as I have ever gotten. But, I mean honestly how many times can we talk about your old flames. It could be it's not as fascinating to me because I can't join in the talk, but as someone who's had to listen to it a lot...... I hope not!

I know that I've lived my life how God wants me to and that I'm right where He wants me, but I feel left out and about 12 sometimes! Then something will happen like a mom will ask me for advice about her sick kid, or the fact that the middle aged Sparks leader is looking to me for what she should be doing. Leading the bible study that I'm in, I've found that teaching my peers is just as unscary as teaching kids. What was I worried about? Then the talk will once again turn to something that seems to be the norm among the people my age. Then I am once again reduced to feeling 12 and like maybe I should try harder to let go of my childhood and "grow up".

Do I need to let go of my love of things not grown up? Can I be mature and still laugh at Sponge Bob and Finding Nemo? Should I seek out those experiences that would make me feel like I fit in? Or just learn to be different and continue to day dream when the talk turns to the things I have no experience with? I've gotten both yea and nay answers to these questions! I know God has lead me where I am, if He wanted me to have those experiences He would have lead me down those roads! Yet, sometimes it would be nice to fit in!