Friday, June 5, 2009

Voices in My Head

"You'll never be good enough! Is that girl looking at you funny? They aren't talking to you, they must not like you! How can you let them treat you that way? Get back, get even, it's only fair........"

How many times do we let that little voice in the back of our minds control our thoughts and sometimes our actions? I know that I listen to that voice all to much! For example, I'm an observant of unimportant details person, so I notice odd things about people and actually remember these little facts(much to some peoples discomfort!hehe) But this gives the voice in my head a whole realm of things to say, "Everybody will notice that your hem is a little higher in the back, that you have a pimple and that your feet are dirty!" Most likely nobody else will notice, or if they do, they won't care. I don't care when I notice these things or think less of the person, I just take mental note of them. But, does knowing this stop me from listening to that voice? NOPE!

Or another example, I have a decided lack of history in the guy department, that slate is completely blank! But, is the reason I've never dated or kissed anybody because I am striving to stay pure and not have emotional baggage when I get married or is it as the voice tells me,"Ha! Your just fooling yourself, the real reason you have no history is because nobody has ever been interested in you! I highly doubt they ever will be! " This is one of the loudest voices I've got!!!

Why do we listen to it!? When everybody else including God is telling us different why do we choose to believe that small voice in our head? It seems to just be human nature, even the most confident people have this voice in their head. How do we get ride of it? Can we ever ignore it? I've found that I can ignore it for long periods of time, but then it will bust out again at the most in opportune times.

The one thing I've found that helps the most is to give myself a mental smack and argue with myself. Yes, argue with myself!(sometimes out loud!) I pray and God gives me the peace and confidence to defeat that small voice. Somedays, I'm praying a lot! It will never completely go away, but it's gotten much better over the years. God will continue to help me and give me the debating skills to defeat that voice in my head, I just need to continue to pray every time that it starts up again. Every time that small voice in the back of your head starts talking trash pray, pray and pray! God can and will help you silence it.

You might be asking yourselves why am I boring you; the reader, with this? Well, something that I've noticed(at least in my family!) is that your family members sometimes aren't the most sympatheic listeners to your pet doubts and fears. This subject has been on my mind and I wanted to "talk" about it with somebody. So, thank you for listening!