Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Why I am NOT Going to See Courageous

Okay, let me just say before you start throwing rocks, I'm pretty sure I agree with the message of the movie and what it is encouraging men to do and or become, at least from what I can tell, not actually having seen the movie! But, for reasons that will soon be explained, I am not going to watch this movie.....

I've actually seen Fire Proof and while it was a bit tough for me to take Kirk Cameron seriously, my only previous exposure to him being on Growing Pains (if you've ever seen the show, you'll know what I mean!) I heartily agree with the message of the movie and am glad that it gained so much popularity and rejoice for any marriages it helped through hard times! But, it needled me just the same!

Now, on to the reasons behind this rather against the flow opinion I have!

Sermons (especially fathers day ones), the two above movies, how popular culture and yes, even the church, treats this topic, has become a pet peeve of mine in recent years.....what on earth could I be talking about?

It's what I like to call, the Man Up and take back your God given (or if your not in the church, just where ever you get the ideas of gender roles from) responsibilities. I can't count how many sermons I've heard on this subject, the men getting lectured from the pulpit about how they need to become better husbands and fathers. But, I can't think of ONE sermon or movie that tells us women how bad of a job WE are doing!

Yes, you read that right, I WANT to hear a sermon about submiting to the men in our lives, I WANT to see my nagging, belittling, prideful, selfish faults 20 feet high on a movie screen and then go and by the companion book, then hear about it in the sermon for the next few months!

I used to be quite the little feminist (in a very loose sense of the word mind you!) and sit there, a small smile on my face thinking.....yeah guys step up and do your job! Preach it Pastor, let em' have it! Take charge and raise your children, be the head of the household! 

But, a few years ago, I noticed that while the Mothers day sermon was all glowing praise of how great mothers are (or if not the subject of the sermon, they are at least asked to stand and clapped for!), the Fathers day sermon was yet another step up you lazy men, type of sermon. Hmmmm, something was not right here and so I started paying more attention and noticed that this wasn't just a one time thing, it was a disturbingly lasting trend!

The men are told through movies and from the pulpit to be "courageous" and us women go and watch these movies and listen to these sermons and leave feeling like we need to "fix" the men in our lives, if only they could step up and be like the men in the movie.

I have not seen one woman come away with the thought that maybe if SHE tried to change and fulfil her God given roles maybe that wold encourage her husband to do the same. But no, we just judge and shake our heads at the men in our lives. I have only heard 2 guys say how much they liked the movie Courageous, just 2! But, I have lost count of how many sighing I wish my husband was more like that comments I've heard from the fairer sex!

I'm not saying that the men don't need to be reminded that they need to step up and become Godly sons, husbands and fathers, but I would like to see some pulpit banging and convicting movies for us women to do the same!

So, girls I am asking you to stop focusing on how the men in your lives could be better, we need to focus on fulfilling our rolls as Godly daughters, wives and mothers. That in my opinion is the best thing we could do to encourage and support our men. We have to first submit, put down and step away from the men's repsonibilites so they can pick them up and become the men we want them to be!

So, to wrap up this alarmingly long post, why am I not seeing the movie Courageous? First off, the message is not directed at me, I don't need to know how to be a better husband and father! Secondly, in my own small way, I'm protesting what I consider to be an unfair bias towards men, and will be focusing on fixing my MANY faults and problems and then after I'm perfect, we'll see about watching the movie! ;-)

7 comments:

  1. I know that after watching this movie, I and my sister were both greatly impacted by it, and felt like it was speaking to us, as well as to the men in the theater. That film spoke to the both of us greatly, and certain scenes are constantly flowing through my head as reminders of how I should be acting. I don't know if you know this, but they DO have a companion book for women that goes along with this movie! It's fantastic, and it does somewhat give us a sermon on how WE should be living our lives. Anyways, I greatly appreciated this film...and I think that it's so aimed towards men, because, as they discuss in the film, the father's actions in his child's life greatly impact that child, and their future! Yes, what the mother does is important, but the father's role is also vastly important! It is so important for him to be courageous, and more than just the typical American man who goes to work, comes home, and watches TV. That's how the main character starts out in this movie, and that's how most of the men I know in my life are. I would love for my own father to see this movie, because I feel like it would change the way he sees his children. I didn't think that this movie had an unfair bias; I think that it was realistic. I know that there are plenty of men who ARE godly, courageous men who love their children so much more than they love themselves, but the reality is that that is a rare thing to find anymore! Yes, I would like a movie aimed towards you and I, telling us what we need to do...but Courageous was one that was definitely NEEDED for so so many men. And for so many women as well. You don't need to be a man to get the many messages. The messages of cherishing the time you have with your children, raising them in a godly home, seeking justice, loving mercy, and walking humbly with God. If you look up the list of resolutions that go with this film, they are ALL applicable to us as well as men.
    Sorry for the long comment...I'm just a major supporter of the Kendricks and what God's been doing through them ;)
    ~Lauren :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. I agree with Lauren.
    I am a man, and so if you didn't hear it from me.... I LIKED THE MOVIE COURAGEOUS (that makes three for you) and I went to see the movie with some from my college group- there were about 4 of us guys and 3 ladies there. We all had a great time and the other gentleman agreed they liked the movie (that makes 4,5,and 6). The ladies were split- a few said they really liked it and the other sorta sided on the "Its for guys" opinion. I would also suggest that you most likely don't go around asking guys if they have seen Couragous and if they liked it or not and in your line of work don't come across to many man that you hang out with as much as you do ladies... That kinds skews your results of your countless times right? Anyway.
    To your side, I do agree that Mother's Days sermons are quite often about praising mothers and Father's Day is about how important it is to be a father in your child's life.

    After my seeing the movie, I too agree that the movie is geared towards guys but there is something for everyone in that movie. It is Hilarious at parts too BTW.

    One last thought... I think part of the reason that us guys get the movies to "Man UP" as you call it is because there is trend in the church where men are not attending church. I believe if you go into any number of churches around the US or even the world (When I was in Latvia, I heard the same issue) there will be more women in the congregation. Woman are taking hold of the ministries in churches and that leaves the men thinking that church is for Women. That is why there are so many Man Up lessons and movies out there.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Lauren: Great thoughts! I did not know there was a book for women; I will have to look into it! I very much agree that men need to hear the message in the movie and hope that it will inspire many a man to pursue become better fathers and husbands.

    I'm not attacking the movie AT ALL! I think it's wonderful that they are making movies about topics like this, I just hope us women get our lecture someday soon!

    I may have judged the movie to harshly and let it bother me without fully researching it, but I do feel men get the brunt of the preaching and I still don't think it's fair!

    Tim: You were one of the two guys I'd heard talk about it, the other was Pastor Syd from the pulpit. I've never asked anyone what they thought, it's just what I've managed to overhear, both in person and in the cyber world.

    I know that there are other guys out there who have liked it and will try and implement the principles in their lives, but most of the buzz about how good and needed the movie has been from women, and it ruffled my feathers a bit!

    As for that last thought, I think we women need to step away from rolls that God has not given us and maybe the men will feel needed and come back! I can't speak for Latvia as I have never been!

    Than you both for commenting and while I may be wrong about the movie, my main point holds true, I would like to see women preached at as publicly and as often as the men! I believe we as women have strayed even father from our God given rolls then the men have!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I found this post quite different! But hey thats a good thing! :) I watched the movie in theatures with my dad and some friends and I have to say we both really liked it. I was encouraged by the movie and thought there was a lot I got out of it. There were things that many of the women could glean I thought as well as things men could glean from the movie.

    I would have to agree with you though about it seeming that the ladies need more preaching at! :) It is odd that the feminist movement has seaped into our churches. Its sad really! I am glad to say that whenever its mothers day at our church I do not believe its a mushy sermon about how great women are at all! Quite the opposite! My pastor talks openly about women needing to submit to their husbands in his sermons and I am thankful for that. He does not go with the flow of the culture and thats so rare these days unfortunately.

    But anyway I would say see the movie ! If you don't really want to fine, but I think it would encourage you.

    In Chrst,
    Rebecca

    ReplyDelete
  5. *This was left by Alexandra of http://oftrimsandfrillsandfurbelows.blogspot.com/ And though I got an email saying it had been left for some reason it never showed up on the blog, so I'm reposting it for her!*
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    While I loved the film "Fireproof" and plan on seeing "Courageous", I do totally agree with your point, and it was a bit of an annoyance in "Fireproof" that the wife didn't have to change anything...and *she* was the one that almost had the affair! I can see what angle they're coming from in encouraging the men to step up and take their role, but I totally, totally agree...women need a talking to or two about stepping up in *their* roles! If women are taking the men's roles in society, family, and the church, why on earth would guys feel the need to step up?

    ReplyDelete
  6. Dear KatySue:
    When I was young the pendulum was the other way. All the preachers seemed to talk about was how if the women submitted then we wouldn't be in this mess. They never seemed to have any problem with the men. It was our fault, not theirs. And if you look into the history of the suffragette (sp?) movement, alot of the women who got involved did so to help abused women. Women could be beaten by their husbands with no outside interference at all, legal or otherwise. So to a certain degree I was feminist, not radically but still feminist. Then I heard Dr. Tony Evans preach on the radio to the men how if they wanted the women to submitt they had to give themselves up as Christ did for the church (Ephesians 5). That was the first sermon I had ever heard from that perspective. I knew that if my husband was willing to do that for me I was more than willing to submit. Now I do not believe that submission is conditional. I would still submit, but this was a very needed subject which needed to be addressed in the church. I feel that some male preachers are reluctant to preach to the women because they are not women and so they preach to the men to whom they can better relate and speak to. I do believe they should but it should be balanced, not all one way or the other. Remember, Eve was deceived but Adam sinned. Men do really have a bigger responsibility before God because of their leadership role in the family. And older women in the church are allowed by scripture to teach the younger to love their husbands and children so it really is a part of the older women's responsibility to teach the younger to submit and about the benefits of submitting.
    So my conclusion is balance, but if they are going to only preach to one sex it should be the men because of their greater responsibility before God.
    I did see Courageous and loved it. Actually, my husband, who is a pastor, was talking to a police officer who saw it and he told my husband that he really liked it. I'm not sure if the police officer was a Christian or not but what a witness this movie is.
    Thank you for allowing this opportunity for sharing my views.
    God Bless you, Linda Sikkema from Canada.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Wow! Very interesting post. While I truly enjoyed the movie, I can definitely see your point. Thanks for being willing to share your opinions as I know that it can be hard to be the controversial person. You've certaintly given me something to think about!
    -Gabrielle

    www.projectpaperie.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for stopping by, I'd love to hear from you, so drop me a message. Don't forget to check back in, as I may have responded to your fantastic comments! Keep it clean and friendly please!